Amusing Mistakes By Job Applicants

In a cover letter:

"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."

"Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job."

"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in Meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

"I demand a salary commiserate with my expensive experience."

Reason for looking for a new job

"I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability."

"Responsibility makes me nervous."

"They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those conditions."

Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job.

In a resume:

"I was working for my Mom until she decided to move."

"Marital status: Single, Unmarried, Unengaged, Uninvolved, No Commitments."

"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping.' I have never quit a job."

"Marital status: often. Children: various."

"Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions."

Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis

Assorted ‘TMI (too much information)

Exposure to German for two years, but many words are inappropriate for business.

One job applicant had a heading called "Pet Peeves" which included such things as
"lazy workers, know-it-alls, spicy foods, etc."

"Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs.

"Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep."

"I love dancing and throwing parties."

Small typos can change the meaning:

"Education: College, August 1880-May 1984"

"I'm a rabid typist."

"As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments."

"Received a plaque for Salesperson of the Year."

I worked as a Corporate Lesion.

Weirdest & Maybe Creepiest Job Seeker Acts

Brought a baby gift to the interviewer who was pregnant.

Sat next to the hiring manager in a church pew.

Left Yankee tickets for the interviewer.

Sent a nude photo of himself to the hiring manager.

Waited for the hiring manager at his car.

Came dressed as a cat.

Said they "smiled on command."

"Time spent laughing is time spent with the gods."
Japanese proverb

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