Online Humor

The crazy musings of what I think is funny!

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Let's Have A Taser Party

Tupperwear is so yesterday and Mary Kay is so over done and useless for women who don't slab on a ton of make-up. So what are a bunch of gals to do on a meat market barless Friday night? Have a Stun Gun Taser party of course.

Pink_taser_potluck_partiesDana Shafman loves to get all taser happy about her taser parties where she spreads out Taser International's C2 "personal protector" weapons on a table and excitedly says "C'mon!" she says. "Give it a shot."

Dana Shafman is an independent entrepreneur who's been selling Tasers the way her mother's generation sold plastic food storage containers. "It's a girl power kind of thing," Shafman says. "You're kind of making a statement: I know I'm a woman. I know I'm the most sought after victim in regards to sexual assault, sexual abuse. So please stay away from me. If in the event you do come after me, I'm going to use my pink Taser to put you on the ground."


Microsoft Wants People Who Can Make

Life More Fun

Friday, December 14, 2007

Cubicle Life doesn’t have to be so drag. Here is my favorites check out the rest at Wired

My SUPER favorite!

The Merger of Fashion and Technology

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Why soon to be former military soldiers should consider being a public education teacher

10) Your commander / your principal “I’m just following the rules!”

9) Co workers / fellow soldiers – your stuck with em so you might as well try to get along.

8) Sleep desperation – you wake up to every little noise you hear and wonder “is that gun fire?”

7) Long hours and little pay

6) What ‘off duty’ time?

5) Your always screaming at them (applies to both sides)

4) Sometimes ya just want to knock their block off (applies to both sides)

3) Language barrier - Both teenagers & those in anther country speak a different language

2) The cafeteria food is just as bad as military rations

Number one reason why soon to be former military soldiers should consider being a public education teacher

1) Field Combat in Iraq vs. Field Combat on high school campuses – what is the difference? The Location and the style clothing

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Monday, December 03, 2007

Because Bunnies are evil.

I love this video! If you like bunnies you may not want to watch this.

Animation Careers In Marketing

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

You think your job sucks!

Court stenographer goes to jail and is under house arrest for working too slowly


Circuit Judge Charles Greene sent Ann Margaret Smith to prison for contempt of court in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, after she failed to finish typing a transcript needed for an appeal hearing for a convicted rapist.

To be fair, Greene did point out that Smith had failed to finish the transcript for several months now, and that she had been given a final deadline of last Friday – which she missed.

She then also failed to write up the transcript in time for her appearance on contempt of court charges.

Smith was eventually released from jail on Sunday night, after she told judge Greene that she couldn't do the work in prison because she was so worried about her three children at home.

The judge then relented, and allowed her out of jail – but immediately put her under house arrest until she completes the work.

Smith currently has around 400 pages of the 1,500 page transcript to go.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

The Top Ten “I don’t know what to say” Gifts by Sierra Night Tide

There are some things you just don't give as Christmas gifts. There are some things that boggle your mind when you see what you got as a Christmas gift…

“I don’t know what to say.”

Items such, as perfumed deodorant doesn’t count as a feminine product of luxury so no one should even try to classify this as ‘perfume’. Yet almost everyone has received that ‘I don’t know what to say’ gift.

This is the season for greed, out doing your relative or co worker and bottom lines, so join in the capitalistic fun by buying gifts that give that “I don’t know what to say” effect.

10) The Men of Mortuaries Calendar 2008

Dig the men of Mortuaries – had to be said. These hawt bois are just dying to show you how much they dig their job. What is really cool is that the men are not all 21 to 25 years of age. Mr. October 2008 (my birthday month) Frank Campailla is a 50 year old hard body who “enjoys working with wood.” No Comment.

The money raised from the sale of this beautifully morbid but intriguing pin-up calendar of hunky morticians will benefit the KAMM Foundation, which provides care and help for those going through breast cancer treatment. So if the treatments don’t cure the cancer could one of these beefy hunky morticians to do the work in his Pin Up attire? I’m just asking…

Also available: T-Shirts and DVDs

9) Barbie USB Drive

Rip the head off the cute Barbie doll, and plug her into your PC.

8) Microsoft's horrible "Office Online Gift Guide"

* Traditional calendars for Excel, $7.50
* Make Flash presentations in PowerPoint

7) Chicken Pox Buddy
One of the most cutest diseases is now a cuddly wuddly stuffed sleeping toy. Who wouldn't love to sleep with chicken pox?

Giving it to someone that your not too close to? Even Better! Or you can give them the flu, not as pretty but he’s green!

Giant Microbes

6) The piece of jewelry that says it all. - The Stunning (Pepper Spray) Ring. From the website: a beautiful self-defense ring with pepper spray, offers safety, elegance and confidence close at hand. THE STUNNING RING, elegantly crafted in silver and gold plating with a genuine black onyx stone, is the perfect self-defense ring for women or men.

5) A framed Google Satellite map of their gift receiver’s house / apartment

I know exactly where you live, isn’t it cool! Look, in this picture it an even shows you sunbathing…

4) Pygmy Goat

From the website:
African Pigmy Goats are very small in size, averaging 15-20 inches tall at the shoulder. They provide small amounts of high quality milk but are considered a meat goat. Bucks are taller than does. The pygmy is small, cobby and compact and is not fine-boned like the dairy breeds or Nigerian Dwarfs. The head is dished-shape with medium-sized erect ears. They occur in a variety of colors, but most are grizzled colored. Muzzle, forehead, socks and dorsal stripes are all darker than the body and are shades of black or brown. This is one of the varieties of African Dwarf Goats, and it is very rare.

3) Fetal Doll in Pink or Brown

I don’t think there is anything I could write that complements just how strange this is. The fact that this is not a gag gift is what makes it so strange and a bit creepy.

From the website: Includes realistically patterned and shaped placenta and cord, which has a snap fastener attachment to the doll.

Enough said.

2) Ugly Christmas Sweaters

Please be kind don’t give a ugly Christmas sweater to someone you actually like.
If you don’t like them than this is a great website to purchase their “I hate you” Christmas sweater.

1) Costco Caskets

The Edward Casket
There is no scientific or other evidence that any casket with a sealing device will preserve human remains.

Monday, November 19, 2007

“The Geek ABC’s”

Geek A B C