Talk Like A Software Pirate

In celebration of tomorrow’s Talk Like A Pirate Day (September 19^th) I’ve created the silly version of Talk Like A Software Pirate. It’s a silly combination of pirate slang with hacker / programmer slang.

I probably could have made it better but I encourage people to add their software pirate words, slogans, pick up lines or whatever else you think a software pirate would say.

Note: Thanks to Dan for inspiring the idea. Slang & terms were researched online

Avast & Abend! - Stop and give attention because you have just created an abnormal termination

Addled Lamer - A mad, insane, or just stupid person - A Lamer is usually a very young user with a big ego who doesn't accurately know computer networking and or programming terms and is unwilling to learn.

Adger Bilge Rat - An insult. To make a bonehead move with consequences that could have been foreseen with a slight amount of mental effort. Therefore you are calling someone a rat that never leaves the lowest level of a pirate ship.

Amoeba Lubber - Can be an insult. - Humorous term for people who use a Commodore Amiga personal computer and or someone who does not log into the internet sea, a person who stays unconnected to the net.

Bletcherous Kraken - Disgusting in design or function; esthetically unappealing. This word is seldom used of people. "The software design is a bletcherous Kraken!"

Booty - Treasure

Couriers - A pirate and a resource. As soon as Cracker Pirates have completd the cleaning, Carrier Pirates distrutes the pillaged software to a variety of pirate sites.

Cracker - A pirate and a resource. Crackers takes a copy of the software than removes any and all serial numbers that could be used to trace the software back to the company pillaged from.

David LaMacchia - Famous pirate - An ex-MIT student who, in 1995, was charged with running two bulletin boards off his university's server that offered an estimated $1 million worth of software for free download.

DrinkOrDie aka Hew Griffiths - Famous pirate - Distributed almost any type of pirated material including applications, games, music and videos.

Evil Lily-Livered Sea Bass - Implies that some system, program, person, or institution is sufficiently maldesigned as to be not worth the bother of dealing with.

Gnumacs – Often heard abbreviated name for the GNU project's flagship tool

Home box - a home box to a software pirate is what a pirate ship is to a ocean pirate

J. Random Hacker - A mythical figure like the Davey Jones

Knuth - Mythically, the reference that answers all questions about data structures or algorithms. A safe answer when you do not know: "I think you can find that in Knuth."

Pseudosuit - A person who leaves the software piracy in exchange for a suit wearing job

Miswart - A feature that superficially appears to be a ugly feature offering nothing but is actually a treasure worth stealing

Nick - Software pirate name

Scurvy-Infested Noob - Newbie / someone new to software pirating and has no clue what they are doing. Scurvy-infested is adding more to the insult of being a noob. Anyone in close contact with a noob is in danger of being infected with stupidity.

Software Publishers Association - - Pirate Hunters

SPA's antipiracy brigade - Pirate Hunters

Suxxor (pronounced suck-zor) Blowfish - an insult / a derogatory term. Someone who sucks and or someone who tried to make themselves more important than they really are hence why they are a Suxxor Blowfish

Warez - Software piracy portal

Warez Pillaging - software that has been pillaged.

Warez Wiz - a software pirate of great talent

XOFF – “Stop talking ya blubbering fool”

Yow! - A favored software pirate expression of humorous surprise or emphasis.

Pirate Excuses

• We're Just Testing The Software
• I just couldn’t resist - it was too tempting
• We just installed a new plugin that promised to give us new content without lifting a finger, I didn’t realize it was stealing other people’s content.
• Sorry, my monkey was playing with my blog and stole it without me knowing it.
• I just wanted to test the game to see how it looks on my computer.
• Whats a pirate without music?
• You need me - If it wasn't for me computer security hunters would be out of a job

Top Ten Pickup Lines For Software Pirates

10 . You've got some great programming

9. Why yes, that is a flashdrive in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

8. You want to see my hard drives?

7. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 75 percent malware free.

6. With my graphic interface and your OS we could make a great game play enviroment

5. Whats your webcam address?

4. How'd you like to crack my coding?

3. I’m writing a new make-out program. Would you like to join the beta-test?

2. You've stolen the ASCII to my heart.

1. You must've been made by Intel to be that hot!