What did he just say?

With the end of 2006 approaching, I thought this would be a nice lead into the new year in hopes that next year’s list won’t be as good… We know it will, but hey, we can’t lose hope now can we?

Starting off with a stupid quote from President Bush might seem a little too easy, like stealing candy from a three year old… A 5 year would probably kick his butt. But in a year filled with moronic declarations, obtuse remarks and mind-boggling ‘where did you come up with that’ statements, you still have to put Dubya front and center. Why? Because he is, after all, the most pungent man in the world.

During an interview with CNBC Bush was asked if he ever Googled anybody. His response.

"One of the things I've learned on the Google is to pull up maps. It's very interesting to see -- I've forgotten the name of the program -- but you get the satellite, and you can -- like, I kinda like to look at the ranch. It reminds me of where I wanna be sometimes."

Why I do not own a TV

President Bush to legally blind reporter Peter Wallsten

“Are you going to ask that question with shades on?”

New Orleans Mayor Ray Naginre

"I don't care what people are saying Uptown or wherever they are. This city will be chocolate at the end of the day."

Oh yea… Who wants the good ol days of racism back, a show of white AND black hooded hands please? Oh damn… I forgot...could I hear a nay or yea… oh damn… um can I see a show of hands and get a nay or yea? This is too hard, where’s my chocolate city martini, sunglasses and IPod?

Lets get back to safer and just as dumb statements… You can always count on a politician to provide good laughable statements… than cry when you realize these guys make laws.

Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) deconstructs the frustrations of (we think) file sharing, during a speech opposing net neutrality before the Senate Commerce Committee.

They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and it's going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material."

I had to read this one a couple of times and I’m still lost. That is why I am not in politics… Like Starbucks, they have they’re own language. Ordinarily, one could cut the guy some slack since he is 85 and a lot of seniors still do not understand how computers work. However, Ted Stevens chaired that committee, which oversees regulation of the internet. Scared?

As much as some people would like to, we can not forget about John Kerry.

“You know, education--if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq.”

Where are the political speech writers? Are they on strike? I think Bush held his breath and threw himself on the floor until Cheney agreed to allow Bush to speak for himself. Doesn’t he know better than to allow spoiled brats to get what they want through temper tantrums?

CNN's Larry King, admitting that he's never used the internet before: CNN's Larry King, admitting that he's never used the internet before: "What do you punch little buttons and things?"

I hope he was just messing with us and in 50 years someone will find a programming manual written by Larry King with a big happy face that says Ha Ha Fooled you!

Seagate CEO Bill Watkins, honest to the last drop… "Let's face it. We're not changing the world. We're building a product that helps people buy more crap -- and watch porn." As quoted by Fortune magazine during a corporate dinner in San Francisco recently.

Steve Ballmer, the of the infamous Monkey Boy dance, is a veritable trove of colorful, catty and occasionally just plain stupid observations and statements. How this guy became a MicroSoft biggie is beyond me… Why do they continue to allow this man access to the media? Are video games now boring Mr. Gates? Does he now uses this guy as his Reality Entertainment?

"I want to squirt you a picture of my kids. You want to squirt me back a video of your vacation. That's a software experience."
Ballmer, riffing on the virtues of the Zune.

Speaking of video games and reality, inflated ego is a common malady in the tech world. Ken Kutagari, the chairman of Sony's video-game division could use a good cleaning of Hurricane In A Can to get rid of his sheer arrogance of self importance.

"The next generation begins when we say it does."

Given Sony's miserable year, you have to fear for the next generation.

Just Say NO, unless you’re a politician.

Representative Bob Wexler - “I enjoy cocaine because it’s a fun thing to do.”