How to Safely Swim With Piranhas

Piranhas--You've seen them in the movies; you've read about them in books; they may have even made an appearance in your nightmares. But nothing could prepare you for the awful truth: they're not nearly as vicious as you think.

Know where piranhas live. The more dangerous piranhas live mostly in metropolitan cities such as Los Angeles, Seattle and Florida, although occasionally a stray treacherous piranha will turn up in smaller rural cities. Most treacherous piranhas do not tolerate cold weather.

Avoid desperate piranhas. These are the ones that know they can’t survive in metropolitan cities. Piranhas are usually mild-mannered and skittish when confronted by the stronger species. They rarely attack a much larger humanoid unless they are starving for attention. Attention is at their lowest from January to September, when new relationships form, so avoid entering piranha-infested waters during these times. When needy attention levels are plentiful, piranhas pose almost no danger… other than annoyance. If in doubt, ask the locals.

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Stay in a group. Piranhas will most likely not attack if you are in a group. Traveling in groups will help you avoid a whole host of other potential dangers as well.

Piranhas Hate educated people. Educated people always see the danger before it swims up to them and kills it before they ca even start they’re attack. Get educated.

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