New Year Resolutions For Geeks

Want to be a geek?

"I am going to socialize more." It seems that there are two types of geeks, those that lead perfectly normal lives and don't seem to be any different than anyone else. However, these geeks are on the endangered secessions list and are normally found only at night playing pool and drinking heavily. This resolution is not for them.

This is for the type that spends an additional 5 hours per night playing World of Warcraft and any other online game, the newest being Second Life (life is but a game). The new social networking system is set in a WOW type environment. Push away from the keyboard! Put on your shoes and a clean shirt, open the door, NO not the one on your computer the one physical one. Now go out and meet people!

"Go outside." A recent study said that Americans on average spend only 42 minutes a day outside, for geeks it's probably less than that. While I completely acknowledge that the digital trees and flowing rivers are quiet cool, I have no doubt that your skin is probably whiter than a 19 year old Goth’s, (unless you’re not Caucasian).

Here is your weekly challenge and resolution: Go to a wildlife conservation park (look one up online) and go to the park for no less than 20 minutes. Trying knocking on a few trees, you’ll see that the trees are real. The birds, they’re real too. You won’t see any winged horses or an elf (unless your at a SCA event) but you will see what it’s like to be surrounded by actual woodsy life.

"I'm going to eat healthy" Geeks tend to be either very skinny or not very skinny (to be polite). Computer geeks have some of the worst diets, constantly drinking soda and eating snacks. Take these snacks out of your fridge and replace it with something healthy, fruit perhaps, maybe even a vegetable! You don’t know what a vegetable is? Move on to the next resolution.

“I will shop at actual grocery stores” I’ve gone grocery shopping with geeks and very few of them will enter a grocery store and not buy something that isn’t canned or frozen. The grocery stores as well as the occasional book store you visit, for your newest game guide and or hardware / coding book, also has cook books for people who have never cooked. I don’t mean microwave cook it for 3 minutes cooking. I mean actually using the big thing with 4 burners that some of your friends use to light they’re cigarettes with. The grocery store has a huge variety of items that you combine to make a meal. Think of it like adding all the coding together to make a super cool website or game character.

"I'm going to exercise." When you sit in front of a computer all day, your body really suffers. Your only your hands and arms do not count as exercise. It doesn't have to be hard exercise and it doesn't mean going to the gym five times a week. However, your body needs exercise. Need more encouragement? Studies show that when you physically exercise, your brain becomes sharper, more focused and is able to make better decisions. Just think, you’re a pretty good game player now, but with exercise for your entire body you’ll be a even better gamer who looks good and feels good.

So here are some other New Year Resolutions you should consider.

• I will spend an hour teaching a child the rudiments of programming, even if it's just "Hello World" in JavaScript.
• I will not respond to requests for help by informing the questioner that they should stop reading romance novels and start learning how to work they’re computer.
• I will decrease my writing in binary code and will give the actual time of day to people who ask instead of pointing to my binary clock.
• I will recognize that not everyone learns computer programs by the time the reach the age of 10 years old.
• I will contribute to an open-source project because they need my skills, not because I like the project.
• I will be nice to the people who pay me.
• I will stop cyberstalking my ex-lovers.
• I will go back and do something interesting with all my failed, half-finished hardware projects.
• I will stop debating meaningless theoretical fights between Sith Lords and Comic book characters.
• I will limit speaking Klingon and will only speak it at Science Fiction Fantasy conventions.
• I will only write ten lines of code everyday for the person I love (aka cyberstalking)
• I will stop obsessing about the future development of Perl 6 (programming language)
• I will stop writing apps that are just giant, nested loops and releasing them as popular software packages.
• I will pay for at least a couple of the shareware apps that I use daily.
• I will limit my t-shirt collection to 50 and start buying shirts that have buttons.
• I will stop asking women at bars who they’re favorite Star Wars character is

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