AUTOMATED HELL

Thank You for calling. This automated attendant will help navigate you through our system. If you are an impatient caller, please press the star button on your keypad and than stay on the line until we finish our online live action D & D role playing game, everyone else, press 2.

Thank you for calling Technical Support
To continue, press 5 and listen to a dreadful fusion of Jazz & elevator music.

If the instructions or the thing we barely call music is grating to your nerves press 9 in hopes that it makes you feel like you have accomplished something while waiting for us to finish our World of Warcraft quest. However, if you insist on pressing 9 more than four times ignore that option and press 7 to listen to more dreadfully recorded elevator Jazz music and or listen to a playback of an obvious practical joke from one of our demented technical staff members who also just happen to be a member of the BDSM community.

Thank you for pressing 7
Now press the button directly to the left of the one you pressed just before this one.

Thank you for pressing 7 again
If at any time you are instructed to press *, do not. Instead, press the button at the top of the column you are in at that time. To continue, press 8.

If the sum of the last three buttons you pressed is 18, press 3 now. If the sum is 22, press 2 now. If it's neither, press 1 to take you back to the main directory.

If the letters on the last 3 buttons you pressed spells SUB, press 4 now. If they spell DUM, press 6 now. If neither, press 1 to take you back to the main directory.

If you have pressed five buttons or fewer, press 3 now. Six buttons or more, press 7 now.

Sorry! You have failed to properly navigate the phone system. Thank You for calling, have a nice day.

Future Telecommuting