Good Reasons To Buy & Other Uses For Bluetooth Headsets

So finally broke down and bought a Bluetooth last night…. Dani Monster promised me that new Bluetooth technology prevented alien technology from burrowing into my brain. After the purchase she told me I could name it and talk to my Bluetooth. However, even my Bluetooth thinks I’m too much a nerd and refuses to be seen with me, it hides behind my hair.

I haven’t worn the thing since it rejected me socially, but I plan on wearing it anyways. I came up with some better reasons to wear the Bluetooth since it doesn’t make me look cool.

10)

Bluetooth headsets make great accessories for Cyber Punk Costumes.

9)

Bluetooth devices can communicate with nearby devices. See a hottie with a Bluetooth? Search and converse - what’s sexier than being beamed?

8)

The Bluetooth is one of the first steps towards assimilation into a Borg like collective and the perfect way to meet your soul mechanical mate.

7)

Unlike your significant other, the battery life for a Bluetooth stays charged and ready go for hours on end. You can cyber away with as many people as it takes. Now the toy companies need to catch up with Bluetooth technology and vibrating connectivity.

6)

Great way to end a date. Pretend your getting a call, step away for privacy (to build the illusion) and than say when you return there was an emergency, you gotta go.

5)

If you’re a want to be the next Perez Hilton, you can talk excessively loud about how you photographed Paris Hilton frenching Lindsay Lohan and you have all the pictures uploaded at www attention whore . com

4)

Pretend your crazy (unless you really are) and talk to the mother ship or the Borg Queen. But be careful with the Star Trek reference. You may find a nerd following you around like an android puppy.

3)

With the Bluetooth earpiece in place, this gives you the possibility of talking to someone on your cell phone, while putting on lipstick and steering the car through traffic all at the same time. OMG

2)

Guys: Cyrano de Bergerac – Are you horribly inept when talking to women? Wear a Bluetooth and serenade milady with words spoken from someone a bit more articulate than you.

1)

If some guy (or female) is hitting on you and you’re not interested, you can put your hand to your ear and say sorry, I’m on a call. Than stroll away as if you forgot they were there.

These boots were made for walking

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Unusual New Technology

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Useless USB Plug Ins


Chameleon USB Plug In


If your not into reptiles (you suck) than you can purchase the Humping Dog USB Plug In

The USB powered chameleon sits on you monitor and rolls his eyes and flicks his tongue in and out. That’s all the gadget does... sits there and rolls its eyes whilst flick its tongue.

Employers Hiring Graduates Increases

AUTOMATED HELL

Thank You for calling. This automated attendant will help navigate you through our system. If you are an impatient caller, please press the star button on your keypad and than stay on the line until we finish our online live action D & D role playing game, everyone else, press 2.

Thank you for calling Technical Support
To continue, press 5 and listen to a dreadful fusion of Jazz & elevator music.

If the instructions or the thing we barely call music is grating to your nerves press 9 in hopes that it makes you feel like you have accomplished something while waiting for us to finish our World of Warcraft quest. However, if you insist on pressing 9 more than four times ignore that option and press 7 to listen to more dreadfully recorded elevator Jazz music and or listen to a playback of an obvious practical joke from one of our demented technical staff members who also just happen to be a member of the BDSM community.

Thank you for pressing 7
Now press the button directly to the left of the one you pressed just before this one.

Thank you for pressing 7 again
If at any time you are instructed to press *, do not. Instead, press the button at the top of the column you are in at that time. To continue, press 8.

If the sum of the last three buttons you pressed is 18, press 3 now. If the sum is 22, press 2 now. If it's neither, press 1 to take you back to the main directory.

If the letters on the last 3 buttons you pressed spells SUB, press 4 now. If they spell DUM, press 6 now. If neither, press 1 to take you back to the main directory.

If you have pressed five buttons or fewer, press 3 now. Six buttons or more, press 7 now.

Sorry! You have failed to properly navigate the phone system. Thank You for calling, have a nice day.

Future Telecommuting

Trashy R2D2


An incredibly detailed replica of R2-D2. Step on R2’s center “foot” and his dome swings wide to collect your trash.
From Think Geek