30 Reasons Why Waitress / Waiter jobs Should Only Be “While In School” Job Only.

I found this online but I’ve changed the title to the above for reasons you’ll understand after you the list.

1. Look at the menu yourself. That's what I gave it to you for. Do you really think I've eaten everything on the menu?

2. If it's taking too long to get your food, do not dock my tip. Its not my fault. I'm not the cook. I'm the one running around making sure you are otherwise content.

3. Don't touch me. You can't touch the strippers in a club, what makes you think you can poke and fondle your waitress?

4. If I don't already know you, I don't care about your life, and I do not want to hear about it while I am standing, pen in hand, waiting to take your order.

5. If you tell me you're ready to order, be ready to order.

6. Don't ask me complicated questions. Period. I'm a waitress. I do not know the in's and out's of why everything is priced the way it is, what brand of eggs we use, who shampoos our carpets, or any other meaningless crap you can come up with.

7. If there are only 2 in your party, and it is self seating, do not, I repeat, do not sit at a table for 6 or 8. Sit at the smallest open table that can accommodate your party of two. If we're packed and that's a table of 6 or 8, only then is it okay to sit there.

8. Shoving your napkin/jelly container/creamer pack/sugar pack into your half empty (or even empty) coffee cup/drink glass does not help your waitress. It is disgusting for the waitress or whoever else is doing the dishes.

9. Do not put a napkin on your empty plate if there is syrup on it. It glues the napkin to the plate.

10. If I am not smiling right away, say hi and be nice, and you'll probably get a real smile instead of the fake one everyone else is getting. Don't get pissy about it.

11. When you walk through the door and I am busy, I already hate you. If you're nice, it will go away.

12. Unless I'm in love with you, I do not want to have to wait on you hand and foot every day of the week. Can't you make a sandwich or something at home one day a week?

13. If you are a regular, I am required to A) Remember what your "usual" is, b) Know what condiments you use without you asking, C) Remember what you drink without you asking D) Not forget any of these things, because that is an ultimate sin. So why, pray-tell, do you still only tip me a couple of quarters?

14. Please and thank you would be nice.

15. I am a waitress, not your servant.

16. If I ask you if you need anything else, check, think, figure it out. Don't wait 2 minutes until I am loaded down with cups and silverware to set tables and say "Oooh...Could I get some jelly, and a refill on my pop?"

17. I deal with tons and tons of nameless people just like you every day. You are not special. Every one is equal. Wait your turn.

18. If someone gets up to go to the cash register, your waitress is your cashier, and you are done eating. Get in line behind them, please. Even if you don't plan on leaving yet. It's very irritating to have to run to the cash register every 3 minutes because people can't figure out it's time to pay. If you're eating, It would still be nice of you, but is completely unnecessary.

20. If every table is clean in the restaurant but one. Do not sit at that one.

21. If it is necessary for you to sit at a dirty table, don't tell me it's dirty. I'm not blind. Yes I will clean it for you.

22. If you are not patient, please leave now.

23. I don't know why someone ordered after you but got their food first...Oh wait...It's because you ordered a well done steak and they ordered a chef salad! Shut up! I don't have time to explain this to you! If you don't get your food in the time it should take to cook it, then start asking questions.

24. I'm human, and I probably will screw something up from time to time. Don't act like I should go to hell for it.

25. If you are under 60, or look contemporary enough to know better, 25 cents and under is an insult of a tip unless you're only having coffee.

26. Use your inside voice when your inside

27. Get off your damn cell phone long enough to order your food. I don't take orders in sign language. You are not that important.

28. If you're trying to hand me something to fill/clear while I'm taking someone else's order, your arm is going to get very tired.

29. Kids are messy. If your kid leaves a huge mess, I don't expect you to clean it up. But I expect a tip for my service while you were here, and a bonus for all of the stuff I am going to have to clean up after you leave.

30. If I don't know something, but am willing to go ask, it pisses me off when you get huffy. Would you rather I just lie or something?

Changing Careers