Apple's New iPhone From: The Onion

Apple's New iPhone

Apple is set to release the much-hyped iPhone Friday, June 29.

Here are some of its most highly anticipated features (from Onion):

• Nanotechnology enables it to reassemble itself when thrown against wall
• Exclusive link to Google Street View so you can watch yourself using your iPhone at all times
• Takes Polaroids
• When moved from hand to ear, makes Lightsaber sound effects
• Prominent Apple logo
• Reproduces through asexual budding
• Has way, way more PRAM than the last thingy
• Comes with an iPhone hat, so people know you own an iPhone during the brief periods you're not using it

Cost: One to three of your paychecks (depending on what you do for work & where you live)