Methods of Dying You Don’t Want To Admit To In The After Life

Your death is that last thing you will ever do on this planet, and a lot of the time it's how you are remembered. That’s why going out can be such an embarrassment or entertainment if you do it the wrong way… or right.


Train driver urination tragedy / dies relieving himself

Authorities now believe that a German train driver died after he opened a door to have a pee while the train was moving. Drivers have to press a safety button - a 'dead man's switch' - at regular intervals, otherwise a computer on the train stops it automatically, and alerts authorities that there is a problem.

The driver was found dead with his trousers open by the side of tracks several hundred meters away from the train, and police now say that it appears he fell out of the locomotive after he opened a door to relieve himself from the train.


No Means NO - Especially From Sharks

A scuba diver was bitten on the lip when he attempted to kiss a nurse shark. The bite was a surprise to the diver, as he had already kissed hundreds of sharks. He explained, "You pick 'em up, rub their belly, scratch 'em, hug them, you might as well give 'em a smooch while you're out there."

Where is smarty kisser pants from? Florida of course....While he isn't dead yet, one of his unasked for kisses is bound to land him a Darwin award since he said he had no plans to stop kissing sharks.


If You’re Flammable, Don’t Smoke


There's always someone who thinks good advice doesn't apply to him. if a doctor advises that the one thing you must not do is go near a flame, as you are going to be covered wtih a flammable material, most people would take this advice onboard, and not strike a match until the flammable material has been removed.

However, Phillip, 60, knew better than his doctor. Philip was in the hospital to treat a skin disease, said treatment consisting of being smeared in paraffin-based cream. Philip was warned that the cream would ignite, so he definitely should NOT smoke. But he just couldn't live without that cigarette."

Smoking was not permitted anywhere on the ward, but Phillip took this setback in stride, and sneaked out onto a fire escape. Once he was hidden, he lit up... inhaled... and peace descended as he got his nicotine fix. Things went downhill only after he finished his cigarette, at the moment he ground out the butt with his heel.

The paraffin cream had been absorbed by his clothing. As his heel touched the butt, fumes from his pyjamas ignited. The resulting inferno "cremated" his skin condition, and left first-degree burns on much of his body. Despite excellent treatment, he died in intensive care.




The following Top five are urban legends that supposedly happened some place in the world.

5. Getting crushed by poorly-mounted plasma TV
4. Getting your picture taken with a tiger
3. Re-enacting a stunt from "Jackass"
2. Retrieving your cell phone from a storm sewer


#1 most embarssing way you don't want to admit to your higher power how you died goes to Jack Daniel, the famous Tennessee whiskey distiller.


Death from stubbing toe
He didn't die from his famous drink.

Jack Daniel decided to come in to work early one morning in 1911. He wanted to open his safe but couldn’t remember the combination. In anger, Daniel kicked the safe and injured his toe, which later developed an infection that killed him!

Moral of the story? Don’t go to work early.

Bonus - The best 'in your face' I beat death award goes to

Russian mystic Grigori Rasputin

Death by:
Poison - Enough cyanide to kill ten men, but he wasn’t affected.
Gunshot (4 times) - survived all 4 attempts -
Beating by Clubs - was still breathing
Drowning - thrown into the icy Neva River to ensure he was dead and stay dead.


Miracle Max: It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive.
- The Princess Bride (1987)