Online Humor

The crazy musings of what I think is funny!

Friday, November 17, 2006

PS3 Gone baby gone!



LOL -> A brand new Playstation 3 is purchased, and smashed in front of dozens of fanboys with a sledgehammer on a busy downtown street. Fing awesome!!!!

PS3 Mortal Kombat

Twisted Musical Chairs

West Bend, Wis.: Wal-Mart sure handled this one well. A crowd of 50 lined up early this morning only to learn that 10 consoles were available. A store manager placed 10 chairs by the store, pushed the crowd back and told them to run for the chairs to see who would get one. A 19-year-old fan ran into a pole instead and had to be hospitalized.


Try to take my PS3 will you? Take that!











MORTAL KOMBAT!
FIGHT!
MORTAL KOMBAT!
(Excellent)
EXCELLENT!
Kano, Liu Kang, Rayden, Johnny Cage,
Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Sonya.
MORTAL KOMBAT!
FIGHT!
MORTAL KOMBAT!
(Excellent)
(Excellent)
Kano, Liu Kang, Rayden, Johnny Cage,
Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Sonya.
MORTAL KOMBAT!


1) Witnesses say that around 10 p.m. Thursday, around fifty people were waiting outside Best Buy (River Park) when the store manager announced that only 35 Playstation 3 units were available. At that point, the crowd made a rush for the door and the manager pulled down the shutters. Officers on scene labeled the crowd an "unlawful gathering," and, according to witnesses, they used batons on those who were being uncooperative.

2) A fight broke out at the Super Wal-Mart broke out in Palmdale, CA

3) Burbank, Calif.: People lined up since Nov. 6. Link. One guy quit his job to line up. "It wasn't a good job," he said. Another guy said the PS3 is keeping him from buying his girlfriend an engagement ring.

4) Lexington, Ky.: A drive-by BB gun shooting hits four people waiting in line at Best Buy. It's enough to send two people home, but one stays, saying, "I'd do it again, even if I get shot again."



There were lines in the Seattle area, too, but no reports of violence yet. Come Seattlelites! You guys/gals are at the top of the geek chain what gives!?


On EBay PS3s are selling for $2000 -

Sen. John Edwards (anti-Walmart man) Volunteer asks WalMart for a PS3

Gizmodo have pics of a tractor trailer delivering PS3s accompanied by sirens, a police escort, and a jumbotron, to 4th street San Francisco


Game Designer career profile


Mortal PS3 Kombat!


Witnesses say that around 10 p.m. Thursday, around fifty people were waiting outside Best Buy (River Park) when the store manager announced that only 35 Playstation 3 units were available. At that point, the crowd made a rush for the door and the manager pulled down the shutters.
Officers on scene labeled the crowd an "unlawful gathering," and, according to witnesses, they used batons on those who were being uncooperative.

MORTAL KOMBAT!
FIGHT!
MORTAL KOMBAT!
(Excellent)
EXCELLENT!
Kano, Liu Kang, Rayden, Johnny Cage,
Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Sonya.
MORTAL KOMBAT!
FIGHT!
MORTAL KOMBAT!
(Excellent)
(Excellent)
Kano, Liu Kang, Rayden, Johnny Cage,
Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Sonya.
MORTAL KOMBAT!


Thursday, November 16, 2006


Just in case you didn't know.

No wonder my joy stick couldn't
maneuver my boss to write me a $1000 company check... Life is not a video game!



Ahhhhhhhhhhh look at the cute activist high school students.

In response to troubling incidents involving student violence at high schools, Fontana, California high school's students and faculty members decided to do something about it.

They've declared November 13-18th "Anti-Violence Week" at A.B. Miller high school. Part of on the campus festivities where they will be having special activities to help promote peace.. One activity included students tied ribbons on the school fence spelling out, "Life is Not a Video Game."

I would have gone with “The TV is not a Babysitter” but hey, that's just me.

"We're trying to get the message out to people: Once you shoot someone, that's it. You can't go back in time and undo it," said Jacklyne Aceves, one of the Miller drama students.

Ummm by the time you reach High School, I would think or at least hope any kid has figured this out. Especially since bulling starts in middle school and busts in high school.

No no no - It must be those damn video games!

Monday was "Dead Day", where popular kids dressed all in black and didn't speak to anyone. Hmm sounds a lot like how I spent my high school lunch hours, except without the black $40 Gap t shirts. I wonder if they wore trench coats?

I think a better Dead Day would have been if they asked their friends to voice all of their faults and make up a few so that could they feel a small percentage of what it really is like.

Activities could include

Book to garbage toss contest

Best clothing insult

Best made up rumor

Backpack snatch relay

Ohhh and 5 inch toe –heel boot running contest or dance off. This way they kids who can do it well can laugh at them for once.

The finale to the week's events is the live performance of William Mastrosimone's controversial but honest one-act play, "Bang! Bang! You're Dead." The play tells the story of a Columbine-like incident at a school. "It shows what it would be like if you were dead and your voice couldn't be heard," said Shelley Flores.


YouTube - The new microsoft take over wave

Yet another new YouTube deal is struck. The video sharing site just announced an agreement with CBS to offer news, sports and entertainment clips on a daily basis, kicking off this month. YouTube and CBS will share revenue from the sponsorship of CBS Videos. Content set to appear includes “Survivor”, “CSI” and “The Late Show with Dave Letterman”, all from CBS Entertainment. The news division, meanwhile, will serve up “CBS Evening News with Katie Couric”, “The Early Show” and “60 Minutes.” There’ll be sports content from CBS Sports, and Showtime Networks will supply trailers from “Dexter”, “Brotherhood”, “Sleeper Cell and “The L Word”.

What’s more, CBS will be the first to test YouTube’s new “content identification architecture”, which allows the company to track down unauthorized use of their copyrighted content

What else?

Viacom sent YouTube a letter last week asking the video-sharing site to remove some of its copyrighted content, the two companies appear to have reached an understanding.

Now there could be a
possible YouTube and Viacom deal. The companies may have reached a mutually beneficial agreement that will grant YouTube the license to play the Comedy Central, etc. content again.

The potential compliance exhibited by YouTube is characteristic of the company that’s eager to make deals with media companies, as opposed to being caught in a law suit for copyright infringement. Viacom’s cooperation in allowing the content to be played on YouTube could show the media company’s eagerness to capture audiences where they are (online) and to still profit from the viewing of their video content.


I don't know if this is funny or just sad!


PS Fight Shuts Down Wal-Mart

A fight broke out at the Super Wal-Mart broke out in Palmdale in California when store employees decide to move the line from inside to outside.

According to a television station, a group of PS3 line-waiters got angry when they were told they could no longer wait inside a Wal-Mart for the PS3 and would have to go outside instead. The group ran through the store knocking everyone and everything in their path over.

Sheriff's deputies were called and the store temporarily shut down to restore order.

In looking at his last bill (for one month) he had charged more than 8,000 iTunes at 99 cents each and had charges at places that sell music and movies, too. This guy made $45,000 a year. Called off the wedding.

read more | digg story

Tenacious D perform You're the One That I Want (the song from the movie Grease) with Andy Serkis, the voice of Sm éagol from Lord of the Rings. Filmed December 2004 in Wellington, New Zealand. In a word: hilarious! Gollum dropping a couple F-bombs with The D couldn't be anything less.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dG2FzHjzJj8

From Time Online

Coolest websits:

A variety of amusements, from classic rock to famous photography, collage art to custom radio, plus our favorite video web logs
Yummy food, Hollywood fashion and helping hands for those do-it-yourself projects


The Web's best war correspondent, a snarky sports blog, the pioneers of "social news" more
A humming social network, community sing-along, instant-messaging hub, mobile-launched pub-crawls and numbers-crunching by committee

Juicy celebrity gossip, mindless computer games and other guilty pleasures

An airfare predictor and subway guide, restaurant reviews and car sharing

Ordering take-out, finding phone numbers and a slew of alternative search engines

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Two professors win right to toke up at work

TORONTO (Reuters) - The use of medical marijuana has given two Toronto professors the right to something that many students could only dream of -- access to specially ventilated rooms where they can indulge in peace.

The two, at the esteemed University of Toronto and at York University to the north of the city, suffer from chronic medical conditions that some doctors say can be eased by smoking marijuana. They are among nearly 1,500 Canadians who have won the right to use the drug for health reasons.

"Without the medication, I am disabled and I'm not able to carry out meaningful and valuable, productive work," said York University criminology professor Brian MacLean, who suffers from a severe form of degenerative arthritis.




Camel ice cream to help trim waistlines?

NEW DELHI, Nov 13 (Reuters Life!)

"The response to camel milk as a health drink and to an ice cream made from the milk has been very encouraging," said project coordinator Ilse Kohler-Rollefson, with hotels already signing up for the products.

Ice cream is being made in two flavors -- saffron-pistachio and strawberry-vanilla.

THE 21st CENTURY IN PICTURES

War and Conflict
View Slideshow

The Food and Agriculture Organization says camel milk has a vitamin C content three times higher than cow's milk. It is also rich in iron, unsaturated fatty acids and vitamin B.

"It is also shown to reduce blood sugar levels in diabetes patients," Kohler-Rollefson said. "At a later stage, we plan to market it for diabetes patients in the cities."



From Make: technology on your time


Portable Rotary Cell Phone

The Portable Rotary Phone is a GSM cell phone built inside an old rotary phone. With a little tinkering….

Take the old phone apart

Add a little of this and a little of that

You pop your SIM card in, it dials out, rings and acts just like an old fashion phone, but it's now my full time cell phone.

If you don’t want to take the time and frustration of figuring out how to do it on your own, you can buy one at Spark Fun for $400 + tax and shipping







From Make: technology on your time


Portable Rotary Cell Phone

The Portable Rotary Phone is a GSM cell phone built inside an old rotary phone. With a little tinkering….

Take the old phone apart

Add a little of this and a little of that

You pop your SIM card in, it dials out, rings and acts just like an old fashion phone, but it's now my full time cell phone.

If you don’t want to take the time and frustration of figuring out how to do it on your own, you can buy one at Spark Fun for $400 + tax and shipping







From Make: technology on your time


Portable Rotary Cell Phone

The Portable Rotary Phone is a GSM cell phone built inside an old rotary phone. With a little tinkering….

Take the old phone apart

Add a little of this and a little of that

You pop your SIM card in, it dials out, rings and acts just like an old fashion phone, but it's now my full time cell phone.

If you don’t want to take the time and frustration of figuring out how to do it on your own, you can buy one at Spark Fun for $400 + tax and shipping







From Make: technology on your time


Portable Rotary Cell Phone

The Portable Rotary Phone is a GSM cell phone built inside an old rotary phone. With a little tinkering….

Take the old phone apart

Add a little of this and a little of that

You pop your SIM card in, it dials out, rings and acts just like an old fashion phone, but it's now my full time cell phone.

If you don’t want to take the time and frustration of figuring out how to do it on your own, you can buy one at Spark Fun for $400 + tax and shipping






I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
- Woody Allen

November 14 is . . . . Operation Room Nurse Day


NO cake in the Operation Room and get those flowers out of here!



2004 Honorable Darwin Mention
Confirmed True by Darwin

(5 March 2004, Victoria, Australia) The construction trades have been revolutionized by new tools that are little short of miraculous. Take the nail gun. Operating on compressed air, it turns the tedious task of nailing into a simple point-and-click operation. It also makes possible a new way to injure yourself, one hitherto unknown: hammering a nail into your brain.

Brad, a 33-year-old bricklayer, had just finished using a nail gun to install wall paneling at home. After the safety-minded man had turned off the compressor and removed the nail cartridge, he downed a few beers with his mates while they joked "about construction site accidents, and taking your eye out with a nail gun." For dramatic effect, Brad pointed his nail gun at his head and pulled the trigger. His mates noted a small red dot on his skin.

Brad figured the firing pin had simply glanced off his skull, powered by a left-over charge of compressed air. In fact, he had fired a 3.2cm nail into his brain. He started to feel light-headed, but didn't feel much pain due, perhaps, to the anaesthetic effect of beer. Nevertheless, his son insisted on calling an ambulance.

When he arrived at the hospital the pain had become worse, so Brad asked the nurses for "a pair of plyers to pull it out myself." Instead, a neurosurgeon and a team of specialists spent four hours sawing through part of his skull and carefully removing the nail. Brad was expected to make a full recovery. "Luckily for him it lodged in the motor area of the brain and not more critical areas," said the doctor.

"I did a very stupid thing," said Brad. If the nail had been a centimeter deeper, he would likely have suffered permanent brain damage, or paralysis.

Monday, November 13, 2006

New Darwin Award! YEA!

The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who, uh, remove themselves from it...

I love these stories!!!!!

17 and 20, who imitated Darth Vader, and made light sabres from fluorescent light tubes. That's right, they opened them up, poured gasoline inside, and lit them. As one can imagine, a Star Wars sized explosion was not far behind. Darth Vader died, while his opponent survived to 'fess up to their creative, but stupid, reenactment. Reference: news.bbc.co.uk

Confirmed Darwin activity.

(31 May 2005, Seattle, Washington) Strength and endurance are two of the most important characteristics that can be passed on to improve the species, so physical challenges between males are frequent. In this case, two drinking buddies found themselves on an overpass 40 feet above a busy freeway in downtown Seattle at 2:45 a.m. It turned out to be the perfect place to determine who had more strength and endurance. Whoever could dangle from the overpass the longest would win! Unfortunately, the winner was too tired from his victory to climb back up, despite help from his friend. The unidentified champion fell smack into traffic below.


Confirmed Darwin activity.

August brings us a winner from Brazil, who tried to disassemble a Rocket Propelled Grenade (RPG) by driving back and forth over it with a car. This technique was ineffective, so he escalated to pounding the RPG with a sledgehammer. The second try worked--in a sense. The explosion proved fatal to one man, six cars, and the repair shop wherein the efforts took place.

Confirmed Darwin activity.

This Honorable Mention goes to the hiker in Scotland who picked up a grass snake so his brother could take a picture. Just as he reached for it, a black serpent slithered into view, so he grabbed that too. It was a black adder, Britain's only venomous snake. Both reptiles sank their fangs into the 44-year-old, who went into anaphylactic shock. He recovered in the hospital. His excuse for his rash act? He didn't think venomous snakes inhabited Scotland.

Classic Darwin

3 February 1990, Washington

The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree appeared to be the robber's first, due to his lack of a previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices:

1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms. A gun shop.

2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.

3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door.

4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before work.

Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup, and fired a few wild shots. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, covered by several customers who also drew their guns, thereby removing the confused criminal from the gene pool.

No one else was hurt.


November 13 is . . . . National Indian Pudding Day

What is Indian Pudding?
Hearty, old-fashioned dessert originated in New England. It`sa spicy, cornmeal-molasses baked pudding that can sometimes include sliced apples. Indian pudding is usually served with whipped cream, hard sauce or ice cream.


Concord Museum version

6 cups of milk
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup yellow cornmeal
1/4 cup flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup molasses
3 eggs, beaten
1/2 cup of granulated sugar
1 teaspoon of cinnamon
1 teaspoon of nutmeg
1 cup seedless raisins
Heavy cream, whipped with at touch of vanilla

The recipe calls to scald the milk and butter in a large double boiler. (I found this very time consuming, so instead I heated the milk for 5 or 6 minutes on high heat in the microwave, until it was boiling, then I transfered it to a pot on the stove on medium high heat.) While the milk is heating, Mix cornmeal, flour, and salt; stir in molasses. Thin the mixture with about 1/2 cup of scalded milk, then gradually add the mixture back to the large pot of scalded milk. Cook, stirring until thickened. Pour over the other ingredients mixed together in a casserole - eggs, sugar, spices. Stir until smooth. Stir in the raisins and bake for 2 hours at 250 degrees F. The pudding must cool about an hour to be at its best. It should be reheated to warm temperature if it has been chilled. Serve with whipped cream.

Yield: 8-10 servings.


Durgin Park Indian Pudding

Vegetable shortening
1 cup yellow cornmeal
1/2 cup dark molasses
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup butter
1/8 teaspoon baking soda
Pinch of salt
2 eggs, lightly beaten
6 cups whole milk

Set oven at 275°F. Have on hand a shallow 2 1/2 quart baking dish. Use shortening to grease it. Set aside

In a large saucepan, combine the cornmeal, molasses, sugar, butter, baking soda, and salt. Add the eggs and stir in 3 cups of milk.

Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon, until the mixture thickens but does not come to a boil. Remove from the heat and whisk in the remaining 3 cups of milk. Pour the batter into the baking dish and transfer it to the oven. Bake the pudding for 2 to 2 1/2 hours or until a crust forms on top.

Serve with vanilla ice cream or whipped cream.