HOMOs fights Sexual Orientation Discrimination

The Ombudsman against Discrimination on grounds of Sexual Orientation is appointed by the Swedish Government... The Swedish acronym for the division is called Homo.

Had to be made jokes:

I wonder if the Honorable Order of Macintosh Operators is up in arms?

Can’t you just picture that department’s email addresses?

Dommi @ HOMO. se

Dick.Long @ HOMO .se

Hans @ HOMO . se

AUTOMATED HELL

Thank You for calling. This automated attendant will help navigate you through our system. If you are an impatient caller, please press the star button on your keypad and than stay on the line until we finish our online live action D & D role playing game, everyone else, press 2.

Thank you for calling Technical Support
To continue, press 5 and listen to a dreadful fusion of Jazz & elevator music.

If the instructions or the thing we barely call music is grating to your nerves press 9 in hopes that it makes you feel like you have accomplished something while waiting for us to finish our World of Warcraft quest. However, if you insist on pressing 9 more than four times ignore that option and press 7 to listen to more dreadfully recorded elevator Jazz music and or listen to a playback of an obvious practical joke from one of our demented technical staff members who also just happen to be a member of the BDSM community.

Thank you for pressing 7
Now press the button directly to the left of the one you pressed just before this one.

Thank you for pressing 7 again
If at any time you are instructed to press *, do not. Instead, press the button at the top of the column you are in at that time. To continue, press 8.

If the sum of the last three buttons you pressed is 18, press 3 now. If the sum is 22, press 2 now. If it's neither, press 1 to take you back to the main directory.

If the letters on the last 3 buttons you pressed spells SUB, press 4 now. If they spell DUM, press 6 now. If neither, press 1 to take you back to the main directory.

If you have pressed five buttons or fewer, press 3 now. Six buttons or more, press 7 now.

Sorry! You have failed to properly navigate the phone system. Thank You for calling, have a nice day.

Future Telecommuting

Year of the pig?

Carbonated Microsoft

Enjoy a cold Liquid Byte with Microsoft’s Carbonated water

Zero viruses!

Version 2.0 will be a Coca Cola clone
Version 3.1 will be Microsoft-Classic
Then they'll release XP which will be appropriately named Mountain Soft

Notice of intent: Once you open the pop, you have agreed to pour the drink down your throat. If any amount of said drink finds its way down someone else's throat, you will be sued $1 million for unfair use of said drink. Also, you will not alter the chemical properties of said drink before allowing it to enter your throat, as this will also constitute a breach of fair use. All unused portions of drink will be appropriately discarded or shall be returned in the original can to Redmond, WA.

Marketing & Promotions Representative Careers

One heck of a fish story

Mar. 5 - A German bicycle fanatic has built what he claims is ''the world's largest biking fish.''

It's a three metre high and nine metre long 3-wheel monster bike made of 10,000 bike bells.

Didi Senft from Storkow, near Berlin, has already built several unusual bicycles since giving up amateur cycling 30 years ago.

German builds giant fish bike / Video

Product Developer's creative world

30 Reasons Why Waitress / Waiter jobs Should Only Be “While In School” Job Only.

I found this online but I’ve changed the title to the above for reasons you’ll understand after you the list.

1. Look at the menu yourself. That's what I gave it to you for. Do you really think I've eaten everything on the menu?

2. If it's taking too long to get your food, do not dock my tip. Its not my fault. I'm not the cook. I'm the one running around making sure you are otherwise content.

3. Don't touch me. You can't touch the strippers in a club, what makes you think you can poke and fondle your waitress?

4. If I don't already know you, I don't care about your life, and I do not want to hear about it while I am standing, pen in hand, waiting to take your order.

5. If you tell me you're ready to order, be ready to order.

6. Don't ask me complicated questions. Period. I'm a waitress. I do not know the in's and out's of why everything is priced the way it is, what brand of eggs we use, who shampoos our carpets, or any other meaningless crap you can come up with.

7. If there are only 2 in your party, and it is self seating, do not, I repeat, do not sit at a table for 6 or 8. Sit at the smallest open table that can accommodate your party of two. If we're packed and that's a table of 6 or 8, only then is it okay to sit there.

8. Shoving your napkin/jelly container/creamer pack/sugar pack into your half empty (or even empty) coffee cup/drink glass does not help your waitress. It is disgusting for the waitress or whoever else is doing the dishes.

9. Do not put a napkin on your empty plate if there is syrup on it. It glues the napkin to the plate.

10. If I am not smiling right away, say hi and be nice, and you'll probably get a real smile instead of the fake one everyone else is getting. Don't get pissy about it.

11. When you walk through the door and I am busy, I already hate you. If you're nice, it will go away.

12. Unless I'm in love with you, I do not want to have to wait on you hand and foot every day of the week. Can't you make a sandwich or something at home one day a week?

13. If you are a regular, I am required to A) Remember what your "usual" is, b) Know what condiments you use without you asking, C) Remember what you drink without you asking D) Not forget any of these things, because that is an ultimate sin. So why, pray-tell, do you still only tip me a couple of quarters?

14. Please and thank you would be nice.

15. I am a waitress, not your servant.

16. If I ask you if you need anything else, check, think, figure it out. Don't wait 2 minutes until I am loaded down with cups and silverware to set tables and say "Oooh...Could I get some jelly, and a refill on my pop?"

17. I deal with tons and tons of nameless people just like you every day. You are not special. Every one is equal. Wait your turn.

18. If someone gets up to go to the cash register, your waitress is your cashier, and you are done eating. Get in line behind them, please. Even if you don't plan on leaving yet. It's very irritating to have to run to the cash register every 3 minutes because people can't figure out it's time to pay. If you're eating, It would still be nice of you, but is completely unnecessary.

20. If every table is clean in the restaurant but one. Do not sit at that one.

21. If it is necessary for you to sit at a dirty table, don't tell me it's dirty. I'm not blind. Yes I will clean it for you.

22. If you are not patient, please leave now.

23. I don't know why someone ordered after you but got their food first...Oh wait...It's because you ordered a well done steak and they ordered a chef salad! Shut up! I don't have time to explain this to you! If you don't get your food in the time it should take to cook it, then start asking questions.

24. I'm human, and I probably will screw something up from time to time. Don't act like I should go to hell for it.

25. If you are under 60, or look contemporary enough to know better, 25 cents and under is an insult of a tip unless you're only having coffee.

26. Use your inside voice when your inside

27. Get off your damn cell phone long enough to order your food. I don't take orders in sign language. You are not that important.

28. If you're trying to hand me something to fill/clear while I'm taking someone else's order, your arm is going to get very tired.

29. Kids are messy. If your kid leaves a huge mess, I don't expect you to clean it up. But I expect a tip for my service while you were here, and a bonus for all of the stuff I am going to have to clean up after you leave.

30. If I don't know something, but am willing to go ask, it pisses me off when you get huffy. Would you rather I just lie or something?

Changing Careers