Jonesing for a world record

LONDON (Reuters Life!) - The saying "Keeping up with the Joneses" could not have been more apt on Friday as Joneses from around the globe headed to Cardiff to set a new world record.

Joneses from as far afield as the United States and Australia flocked to the Welsh capital to beat the world record for a gathering of people with the same family name.

The Welsh bid hopes to attract up to 2,000 Joneses to a show in Cardiff where they will be entertained by singers and dancers, all called Jones, including former Bond actress, supermodel and pop icon Grace Jones, who headlines the show.

The current Guinness World Record for a gathering of people with the same name is 583 Norbergs in Sweden.

"We are hoping to consign the Norbergs to the dustbin of world record history," said Dylan Hughes, the organizer of the Jones extravaganza in the city's Millennium Center stadium.

"I think Grace Jones is around somewhere but we haven't seen her yet, because she is quite an elusive Jones to pin down ... she will be headlining tonight," Hughes told BBC television.

All Joneses need photo ID or a birth certificate to validate the bid. Guinness officials will attend the event.

TOKYO (Reuters) - Police are looking for a robber who held up a noodle bar in western Japan then paid for his meal and waited for his change before making off.

The young man ate a bowl of "ramen" noodles and a side order of fried chicken at a restaurant in the city of Osaka on Wednesday then produced a knife and forced a waitress to hand over takings of 46,000 yen ($393), the Sports Nippon newspaper said.

When the woman demanded he pay for his meal, the robber gave her 1,000 yen and waited for his 100 yen change before running away, the paper said.

"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
- Jeff Foxworthy


I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
~Author Unknown

This Halloween the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.
~Conan O'Brien

On Hallowe'en the thing
you must do
Is pretend that nothing
can frighten you
An' if somethin' scares you
and you want to run
Jus' let on like
it's Hallowe'en fun.
- from an Early Nineteenth Century Halloween Postcar

The 10 clues you need to recognize that you need a new job

1. The most rewarding thing you did this week was polish all of your Bic pens giving them a beautiful shine.

2. Your boss keeps forgetting your name and you two have work together for more than 6 months and had no problems remembering it until recently.

3. You constantly daydream about being a forest ranger.

4. When you close your eyes to sleep, you still see images of what you did during the day (or worse - your boss).

5. You now cry when you watch the move Office Space

6. You tend to get sympathy whenever you mention where you work.

7. You swear someone slowed down all of the clocks to operate at half the speed they're supposed to.

8. You wish you would have remembered to record today's Jerry Springer episode

9. Your start questioning why all of the windows have impossible to open locks or why none of the windows can be opened.

10. You read all of the comics online in the morning and check back in the middle of the day to see if tomorrow's comic has been uploaded yet.

All is in the hands of man. Therefore wash them often.
- Stanislaw J. Lec

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
- Robert Benchley

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.
Gore Vidal (1925 - )