Online Humor

The crazy musings of what I think is funny!

Friday, April 13, 2007

Wacky Roadside Attractions & Whimsical Sculptures

People are getting dreaming of lazy days, summer vacations and weekend get always. I love wacky roadside attractions as well as whimsical art sculptures so I went in search of some familiar and some undiscovered attractions. I could go on and on and on an on… Instead, I’m going to list just a few every now and than throughout the next few weeks.

The Minneapolis Sculpture Garden is a 11-acre park in Minneapolis Minnesota near the Walker Art Center. They claim that it is the largest urban sculpture garden in the United States with 40 permanent art installations and several other temporary pieces that are moved in and out periodically.

Approximately 75 years ago, the Garden area was called the Armory Gardens. The building was torn down in 1933, but the elaborate garden remained under the management of the Minneapolis Park and Recreation Board. In the late 1960s, Interstate Highway 94 severed the connection between Loring Park and the now called Minneapolis Sculpture Gardens, eventually the acreage in front of the Walker Art Center became a playing field.

In 1988 the Walker Art Center and the Minneapolis Park and Recreation Board collaborated to turn that playing field into the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden. In 1992 it was expanded from 7.5 to 11 acres, making it the largest urban sculpture garden in the US at the time. There are more than 40 works on permanent view. Additional temporary installations keep the Garden experience innovative and original.

Career Opportunities at the Walker Art Center


Coco Cola at Turner Field in Atlanta Georgia

An Atlanta Braves baseball game is what normally attracts people to Turner Field, but what really gets people fizzed up is the famous Coke contour bottle made up of baseball gear.

According to the sign posted nearby, the Coke bottle contains

  • 60 shoes
  • 2000 bottle caps
  • 48 batting helmets
  • 2000 Coca-Cola cans
  • 18 catchers mitts
  • 86 Fielders gloves
  • 290 bats
  • 6680 baseballs
  • 24 jerseys
  • 64 bases
  • 16 chest protectors
  • 24 pitching rubbers

Designed by Alexander Samuelson and Earl R. Dean back in 1915 for the Chattanooga bottling company.

Career Opportunities at World of Coca Cola


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Thursday, April 12, 2007

Taste Just Like Chicken


Tiny bits of protein extracted from a 68-million-year-old dinosaur bone have given scientists the first genetic proof that the mighty Tyrannosaurus rex is a distant cousin to the modern chicken.

There goes the old joke about calling people a chicken!


The discovery of soft tissue, including blood vessels and cells, in a T. rex bone dug out of sandstone from the fossil-rich Hell Creek Formation in Montana in 2005 by Mary Higby Schweitzer of North Carolina State University disproves the theory that birds evolved from dinosaurs.


"It's the first molecular evidence of this link between birds and dinosaurs," said John Asara, a Harvard Medical School researcher, whose results were published in Friday's edition of the journal Science.



For his study, Asara used a highly sensitive technology called mass spectrometry to determine the chemical makeup of bone fragments provided by Schweitzer and her team. After several tests, the researchers said the results may change the way that people think about fossil preservation.

"The fact that we are getting proteins is very exciting," said paleontologist Jack Horner, who dug up the T. rex in 2003 and is co-author of the paper with Schweitzer.

Horner said paleontologists will need to dig deeper for specimens that have not been corrupted by ground water and bacteria.










MY Generation

If I actually make it to the senior citizen age, I want to be wearing
Knee high combat boots, pushing a flame painted walker and giving the middle finger, just like Buster.


The Zimmers



Senior Citizens and Careers

Brought together for a TV documentary, the troupe recorded their own version of The Who's

My Generation - complete with the legendary bad boy (and girl) guitar-smashing and drum-throwing. The video ends in true rock 'n' roll style, with Buster Martin, 100, the oldest working man in Britain, giving the middle finger to the camera.

CDs of Zimmer music is set to hit retail shops (in Britain) on the 28th of May and the profits will go to Age Concern. The documentary will be a three shows series called Power To The People which will air in May but only in Britain.


Wednesday, April 11, 2007

The proverb is mightier than the?

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.

Better to be safe than ....Punch a 5th grader.

Strike while the.....Bug is close.

It's always darkest before....Daylight Savings time.

Never underestimate the power of.....Termites.

You can lead a horse to water but ....how?

Don't bite the hand that ....looks dirty.

No news is....impossible.

A miss is as good as a .....Mr.

You can't teach an old dog new....math.

If you lie down with dogs, you....stink in the morning.

Love all, trust .....me.

The pen is mightier than the....pigs.

An idle mind is....the best way to relax

Where there's smoke there's ....Pollution.

Happy the bride who.....gets all the presents.

A penny saved is....not much

Two's company, three's....the Musketeers.

Don't put off till tomorrow what....you put on to go to bed.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and ....you have to blow your nose.

None are so blind as....Helen Keller.

Children should be seen and not....spanked or grounded.

If at first you don't succeed....get new batteries.

You get out of something what you....see pictured on the box

When the blind leadeth the blind....get out of the way.


In the spirit of all that is humor, I'm adding some unfinished proverbs for readers to finish.

Source
  1. A bird in the hand is worth ...

  2. A cat has ...

  3. A friend in need is ...

  4. A good husband is ...

  5. A house without a dog or a cat is ...

  6. A teacher is better than ...

  7. Age is honorable and youth is ...

  8. As we live, ...

  9. Do not blame God for having created the tiger, but thank him for ...

  10. He that marries for money ...

  11. When spider webs unite, ...


How To Live On Less Than $20,000 A Year & Go To College


Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Give a man a fish - he'll eat for a day, teach him how to fish and the fish may bite back.


A Florida fisherman got a bite he was not expecting when a giant mackerel left him needing more than 100 stitches.

While reeling in a small fish, when a large king mackerel leapt out of the water and attacked the obviously surprised fisherman Josh Landin. The fish leapt into the boat and sank its teeth into his hand and leg.


Rob Platner, who was also on the boat in Brevard County, Florida, said: 'We were staring at that little fish.

'Like someon
e waved a magic wand that went "whoosh", it was suddenly a 5ft-long 60-pound fish.'

Mr Landin said: 'It jumped right out of the water, hit me in the chest, knocked me over and bit my leg.'

NOTE: The picture is not a picture of the biting fish. It's only to show you how big these fish tales can be.


As if attacking fish wasn't enough consider this.

Whenever your having a bad day just consider yourself lucky that you don't work for ExxonMobil compound in Luanda Angola Africa





Eating Out Isn't Always Eating Healthy