Online Humor

The crazy musings of what I think is funny!

Friday, January 19, 2007

Idol Controversy

This guy is the perfect Idol and a celebrity of today… not as if that’s a good thing, just a fact in truth.

E! News

Just two episodes into the sixth season and American Idol has been already hit by its first controversy.

Tommy Daniels, one of the few singers to display impressive vocal skills at the Seattle auditions on Wednesday's episode, also has an impressive criminal past, according to court documents uncovered by tmz.com.

The aspiring Idol contestant was convicted of drunken driving in 2004 and sentenced to a one-year alcohol diversion program and fined $680. After he completed the sentence, the incident was wiped from his record.

"I was young and dumb and drinking and driving," Daniels told tmz.com about the incident.

In 2005, Daniels, now 22, was arrested again, for hit-and-run in an incident that apparently involved him colliding with another vehicle. After he failed to appear in court for his arraignment hearing, he was rearrested.

It was unclear whether Daniels had resolved his legal issues. Oregon Department of Motor Vehicles records indicate that his license remains suspended, according to the Oregonian.

In an interview with a Fox affiliate in Oregon, Daniels claimed that he had been completely honest about disclosing his criminal history to Idol producers. Neither Fox nor the producers had any comment on the revelations.

Though Idol contestants have been eliminated in the past after their rap sheets became public fodder, others have been permitted to remain on the show in spite of their indiscretions, especially if producers were already aware of the situation ahead of time.

Last season, identical twin brothers Derrell and Terrell Brittenum were dismissed from the competition after they were jailed on charges that they used another man's identity and financial information to purchase a car.

In the second season, Corey Clark was booted from the show after it was discovered he had been arrested on assault charges. Another season two competitor, Jaered Andrews, was kicked out of the semifinal round after he was arrested in connection with a murder charge. (He was later acquitted.)

However, when season four runner-up Bo Bice's arrest records for felony cocaine possession in 2001 and marijuana possession in 2003 surfaced during the competition, Fox and Idol producers stood behind the singer, claiming that he had been forthcoming about his criminal past from the outset.

Another season four contestant, Scott Savol, was also permitted to remain on the show after his prior arrest for domestic violence was made public, because he, too, had been honest with the network and producers regarding his background.

It remains to be seen whether Daniels' police record will affect his future on the show.


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One train wreck celebrity is enough for NFL


A report in the New York Daily News says the league has turned down Britney Spear's request to be featured in a Super Bowl commercial to promote the NFL Network.

The spot is supposed to be an all-star celebrity cast showing up for Chad Johnson's Super Bowl party and features the likes of L.L. Cool J and country band Rascal Flatts.

Spears' good pal, Paris Hilton, is also expected to appear, although she hasn't signed a deal yet, according to the paper.

The paper's insider didn't spare Britney's feelings when giving the NFL's reasoning: "She's too much of a train wreck. Besides, we already have Paris Hilton."

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A musical condom?
Hmmm
Joy to the world?
Hmp There it is!
Stand & Deliver

Or maybe...
Who Let The Dogs Out?


Chocolates, roses, musical condom...A gift of musical condoms is bound to be more entertaining... Thankfully, the condom itself does not sing like I orginaly thought from the story headline. The mint, strawberry, chocolate and banana flavored condoms come in a package with a music CD to get you in the mood for love.


I would crack up laughing if it did "sing". Thinking it was all a joke if some cut boi pulled that out... "ok now where is the real one?"

The Idom's Exotica, Chocotasy and Loveberry brands come with CD compilations of chillout, acid jazz and dance music.

"The music starts slow, then medium, then becomes fast before getting slow again," said Jack Wong, who helped with the music. The CDs run for exactly 18 minutes... what exactly are they trying to say? Hmmmmmm

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Ugly Bra Strap Syndrome aka GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!
They're slogan: A shoulder to bling on {puke}


Margarita Reis, who runs bra company Margarita Couture, said the growing range of bra straps -- from clear plastic to colored, encrusted with Swarovski crystals or decorated with flowers -- meant there was no excuse for women to let worn or discolored bra straps slip into public view.

She has set up the Strap Police on her Web site www.brastraps.com to help keep unsightly straps out of sight.

"Ugly bra strap syndrome is what women get as they dress up and bare their shoulders with an out-of-place strap showing," said Reis, a musician turned bra retailer who is based in Fort Lauderdale, Miami.



Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Whiten your Teeth with Strawberries by Health Magazine

The secret to this inexpensive home whitening method is malic acid, which acts as an astringent to remove surface discoloration. Combined with baking soda, strawberries become a natural tooth-cleanser, buffing away stains from coffee, red wine, and dark sodas. While it’s no replacement for a bleaching treatment at your dentist’s office, “this is a fast, cheap way to brighten your smile,” says Adina Carrel, DMD, a dentist in private practice at Manhattan Dental Arts in New York. “Be careful not to use this too often, though, as the acid could damage the enamel on your teeth.”

You need:
1 ripe strawberry
1/2 teaspoon baking soda

Directions: Crush the strawberry to a pulp, then mix with the baking powder until blended. Use a soft toothbrush to spread the mixture onto your teeth. Leave on for 5 minutes, then brush thoroughly with toothpaste to remove the berry–baking soda mix. Rinse. (A little floss will help get rid of any strawberry seeds.) Carrel says you can apply once a week.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

All Aboard - Pants or no pants
6th annual No Pants! Subway Ride





New York Daily News

More than 200 people participated in the sixth annual No Pants! Subway Ride on the 6 line yesterday.

"We're all going to take our pants off and have a lot of fun," said organizer Charlie Todd, 28, of the Improv Everywhere group. "It's not against the law to wear your underwear!"

"I'm standing here with no pants on," said Melissa Poles, 31, of Manhattan, who crocheted a blanket while confused onlookers tried to make sense of the stunt. "I'm awesome."








Horriable & Questionable Red Carpet & Award Pictures





PLEASE if you plan on being a celebrity learn how to stand for pictures.... The dress makes this celebrity look like she bought it a $5 Plus clothing store.









Does she know how many people have handled that globe?






After Before During... in the wrong order






"Why doesn't anyone do the Batusi anymore?" - Adam West on the Simpsons







Who took her fairy wings from her? That's just mean!








" I can't believe I won a best actor award after my perfomnce in Father of the Pride "
















How to Safely Swim With Piranhas

Piranhas--You've seen them in the movies; you've read about them in books; they may have even made an appearance in your nightmares. But nothing could prepare you for the awful truth: they're not nearly as vicious as you think.

Know where piranhas live. The more dangerous piranhas live mostly in metropolitan cities such as Los Angeles, Seattle and Florida, although occasionally a stray treacherous piranha will turn up in smaller rural cities. Most treacherous piranhas do not tolerate cold weather.

Avoid desperate piranhas. These are the ones that know they can’t survive in metropolitan cities. Piranhas are usually mild-mannered and skittish when confronted by the stronger species. They rarely attack a much larger humanoid unless they are starving for attention. Attention is at their lowest from January to September, when new relationships form, so avoid entering piranha-infested waters during these times. When needy attention levels are plentiful, piranhas pose almost no danger… other than annoyance. If in doubt, ask the locals.

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Stay in a group. Piranhas will most likely not attack if you are in a group. Traveling in groups will help you avoid a whole host of other potential dangers as well.

Piranhas Hate educated people. Educated people always see the danger before it swims up to them and kills it before they ca even start they’re attack. Get educated.



The original article How to Safely Swim With Piranhas