Eminem Music Allegedly Used As U.S. Torture Device - Dec 2005 (a bit old)

I have to admit that is a bit cruel... even for baddies

KABUL, Afghanistan -- A human rights group is alleging the United States operated a secret prison near Afghanistan's capital as recently as last year. The group claims that music by Eminem and Dr. Dre were used as instruments of torture.

Famous Last Words
(not confirmed)

Don't worry...it's not loaded...
Terry Kath, rock musician in the band Chicago Transit Authority as he put the gun he was cleaning to his head and pulled the trigger.

Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!
Groucho Marx

I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring.
Richard Feynman

Dammit... Don't you dare ask God to help me.
Joan Crawford. This comment was directed towards her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.

Thank God. I'm tired of being the funniest person in the room.
Del Close, improvisor, teacher and comedian, died 1999

Now why did I do that?
General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.

No! I didn't come here to make a speech. I came here to die.
Crawford Goldsby, aka Cherokee Bill, when asked if he had anything to say before he was hanged.

I'm tired of fighting.
Harry Houdini

LSD, 100 kilograms I.M.
Aldous Huxley To his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.

I'm bored with it all.
Winston Churchill, before slipping into a coma and dying nine days later.

They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance.
General John Sedgwick, Union Commander in the U.S. Civil War, who was hit by sniper fire a few minutes after saying it

My favorite

My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go.
Oscar Wilde

The Six-Word Memoir Contest

(via laughingsquid.com)

Everyone who submits a memoir and signs up with Twitter to receive a memoir a day is eligible to win a red 4GB iPod nano.

They're Back!

Green pea soda! This is the newest soda for the Thanksgiving season and will join other flavors such as turkey and gravy, dinner roll, sweet potato and antacid flavor soda pop.

Yum Yum!

Jones Soda Co is selling $10 to $15 "holiday pack" of bottled drinks available nationwide.

Peter van Stolk, chief executive of Jones Soda, said on Monday the collection of strange-flavored sodas usually sells out quickly, even though he can not stomach the drinks. Past flavors included broccoli casserole, corn on the cob and Brussel sprout.

"Why people buy it is beyond me. I can't drink a bottle of this stuff," said van Stolk.

"We have the market share leader in turkey-flavored beverages," said van Stolk. "We know we can't compete with Coke or Pepsi by playing their game, but we know they're not going to come out with a turkey flavor or antacid flavor."

Asked if there were any flavors that were off limits, van Stolk said he put his foot down when it came to curried chicken flavor.

"Fish taco was just nasty and we tried curried chicken. That was just wrong," he said.

Flying Wiimote busts 60" TV

Tuxedo Jack from the Something Awful Forums lost his 60" projection TV this weekend to a flying Wiimote. Here's his story:

"We brought the Wii home and played it pretty much nonstop for the past 24 hours. At 12:10am, during a slower couch-sitting game of Wii Sports: Bowling, my Nintendo Wii got angry with me. My buddy Troy reels back to roll his ball as he's done about 300 times tonight and suddenly feels the controller slip from his hand. (THANK GOD for the wrist strap right?) Nope. Wrist strap snaps. The Wiimote flies across the room impaling my 60" rear projection TV square in the upper left corner. Be warned: Sweaty hands + faulty Wiimote wrist strap = broken ass TV."

He believes the incident may have only busted the outer glass, but it appears the man is TV-less at the moment. Any other reports of flying Wiimotes out there, either by faulty wrist straps or over-excited movements?

Do I qualify for PFlag?

PFlag meeting
{standing up}

Hello,

"My name is XXXXX and my dog is gay. "



I was a littler suspicious of the fact when she started taking knives off the kitchen counter and would place them in various places in the living room. I think that was before she came to terms with the fact that she was different. She rebuffs the sexual attention from male dogs but has no problems playing just as rough and tough as the male dogs. However, I believe my suspicions intensified when I saw her trying to keenly hug other female dogs. But… as any loving dog owner does… I tried to tell myself that this was just a phase, an experimental period in her young and care free days.

However, this last Saturday she finally came out of the Dog House Closet… At the dog park she openly in the view for all to witness announced her liberation as a Lesbian dog by engaging in the affectionate act with anther female dog. Not once but to ensure all knew her declaration of self acceptance she happily participated in the (attempted) act of ‘partnering’ multiple times.

So, I saw here and now, I am proud of my gay dog. Now, where’s the coffee, the yummy cookies and the cool little clothes pens and hey, can join next year’s PFlag’s gay Pride Parade float?

The hunt for the worst sound in the world

Fingernails scraping down a blackboard... the scream of a baby... your neighbour's dog barking: what is the worst sound in the world? This is what this website is trying to find out.

http://www.sound101.org/index.php

All Hail Geek Stupidity

$1100 bucks to buy "Contact information" to a person that has a PS3 for sale.

Beauty queen puts down arms to save legs

JERUSALEM (Reuters) - Miss Israel has been given permission not to carry her assault rifle during service in the Israeli army because she says it bruises her legs.

Reigning beauty queen Yael Nezri, a private who recently completed basic training, said the bruises were making it difficult for her to model in photo shoots.

The Jerusalem Post reported that Nezri, 18, had been granted an exemption by her commanders during her two-year army stint.

Beautiful Death

GUBEN, Germany, Nov 16 (Reuters Life!) - A disused factory in an economically depressed east German town has been turned into a "beauty salon for the dead" by anatomist Gunther von Hagens.

He has opened a production line for his so-called plastination process in which the bodies of donors are preserved in hard resin and dissected in slices, often for sale as anatomy teaching aides.

Von Hagens's "Body Worlds" exhibition of "plastinated" human bodies has caused controversy in several European cities where it has toured.

Visitors to his factory in Guben, on the border with Poland, are also treated to a display of anatomical models, like the ones used in "Body Worlds," together with a ghoulish show of malformed organs and diseased tissues.

Once named Dr. Death by Germany's Spiegel magazine, he defended his unconventional business on Thursday.

"I am a dresser of corpses who takes corpses and turns them into useful objects. This is an extension beyond death of the trend for beauty treatments," he said.

The eccentric man, invariably seen sporting a wide-brimmed hat, told reporters at the opening of his new center that the slices of bodies which he sells to schools and universities were no different than a slice of meat sold on a slab.

Named the Plastinarium after his unique resin-based process, the new center will create around 200 jobs for a town hit by high unemployment since the collapse of communism.

Aided by Chinese scientists, the workers will coat the bodies of donors in hard resins before slicing them into cross-sections to be sold around the world.

Text For Safe Sex

Getting sex is up to you, but the folks at GrabaCondom want to make it as easy and embarrassment free as possible. Their new text for condoms service has just launched for those of you in the UK. Simply send a text to 63100 and you can get your condoms delivered in a discrete unmarked envelope instead of having to endure the scornful eye of the checkout lady whom you just know is heading straight to the confessional when she gets of work to pray for your sinning soul… Right now the services is only available in the UK but the group intends to branch out swiftly if their service catches on. http://www.grabacondom.com/faq.html

Office / Geek toys for amusement.
From Think Geek

Acrobots Artistically posable, magnetic desktop futuristic action figures

The Cubes - Cubicle Playsets

Cubicle playsets for adults. Now you get to be the boss!

Blunt Desktop Signs Humorous signs to adorn your desk or monitor to let folks know how you really feel.
My personal favorite:
I LOVE DEADLINES (i especially like the sound they make as they go whooshing by)
TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED (and I'll tell you how to get along without it)


Invaders Surface/Wall Graphics

A set of 13 inch diameter aliens that you afix to your wall, invader style!

WavyWand

Make text, graphics, and animation appear in mid-air.

Despair, Inc. 2007 Calendars

This year ThinkGeek teamed up with the geniuses at Despair, Inc. to bring you a custom 2007 calendar.

• August 4th, 1997 - Skynet goes online. After starting a nuclear war, sends Terminators into the past.
• May 22nd, 1973 - Ethernet invented. Thus begins the ascendancy of the geek.

January - Wishes. When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

October - Ambition. The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

December - Idiocy Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Slap some geek on that gift

Currently, you can choose between these designs:


• ChristmasBots - Light blue paper with the cutest little holiday robots you'll ever imagine. And by cute we mean hella-nifty.
• Nondenominational - Darker blue paper in a traditional style emblazoned with 'Have a Satisfactory, Non-denominational Capitalist, Wintertime Gift-giving Season!
• Binary - Black paper with a terminal green font and 'Wrapping Paper' in binary written all across it.
• Equations - Handwritten scientific equations written on graph paper.
• Birthday - 'Happy Birthday' written in elvish, klingon, binary, h4x0r and hex. Little PDAs, USB cables and cel phones simulate confetti. Dark blue background.
• Emoticons - Happy, sad, frustrated, overjoyed, wink, etc, etc. Yellow emoticons on red paper.

Life

Of course the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you--if you don't play, you can't win.
- Robert Heinlein

Free Viagra

BRASILIA, Brazil (Reuters) - The mayor of a small Brazilian town has begun handing out free Viagra, spicing up the sex lives of dozens of elderly men and their partners.

"Since we started the free distribution of sexual stimulants, our elderly population changed. They're much happier," said Joao de Souza Luz, the mayor of Novo Santo Antonio, a small town in the central state of Mato Grosso.

Souza Luz said 68 men over the age of 60 had already signed up for the program, which was approved by the town's legislature and has been dubbed "Happy Penis," or "Pinto Alegre" in Portuguese.

But the program has also had the unforeseen consequence of encouraging some extra-marital affairs, Souza Luz said.

"Some of the old men aren't seeking out their wives. They've got romances on the side," he said.

To discourage such illicit canoodling, Souza Luz said the city had decided to begin distributing the Viagra pills to the wives of the men who signed up for the program.

"That way, when the women are in the mood, they can give the pills to their husbands," he said.

Space for rent

LONDON (Reuters) - A square yard of prime "space in a case" is up for auction in a London museum and the winning bidder can exhibit whatever they want.

The exhibit must represent the winner's life in the capital.

"You can give us a case history, a family heirloom, or a found treasure, your grandparents' wedding photographs," the Museum of London said in a statement.

"It's your place and your case." The winning exhibit will be put on display until February following the 10-day eBay auction.

Cats and Dogs living together - total choas!

PASSO FUNDO, Brazil (Reuters) - Geneticist Adil Pacheco took blood samples on Friday from three puppies in a poor neighborhood in Passo Fundo in southern Brazil to settle a dispute over a claim they were born from a cat.

"It's rather simple really. If the puppies prove to have 78 chromosomes, they are dogs. If they have 38, they are cats," said Pacheco, director of the Institute of Biological Sciences of the University of Passo Fundo.

"But I seriously doubt they are feline. Every characteristic about them is canine."

Cassia Aparecida de Souza, 18, said her cat Mimi had given birth to the three puppies as well as three kittens, which did not survive. And she, her husband Rogerio Jorge da Silva, 26, and several others in the town believe a neighborhood mut named Dog is the father of Mimi's pups.